Sunday, October 23, 2011

It may be a house on the hill with a fence but the ants are eating it! ( It takes work_)

I subscribe to this blog with  the perfect life. This girl has it all under control.She  home schools her well behaved children, her husband goes to work every day in the military, helps with the children and her house is decorated wonderfully. she has been married to the same really good guy for years and he is the father to all her children.  They are getting ready to have as many kids as we do. Oh did I mention her laundry is caught up and they have made it through 2 deployments and all these years as an Army family. I love reading her blog and wondering how does she do it. Although  I would like to report that my life runs that smoothly I have to step back into reality when blogging. The truth is I had quit blogging because I  had a hard time saying anything in a way that is not so  negative that it still shows that there is positive in this crazy life we lead.. Deployment was not a smooth even flow for us and it the transition into this house was not not easy on any of us. Honestly even with all the love we had the trip to the airport to pick him up the last time was VERY stress full. Sierra screamed and wiggled when he held her at first. There were things about deployment that I did not realize and was not prepared  for.  I was back here waiting preparing things  for us when he came home.  I sometimes didn't feel he appreciated any of it. I sometimes thought I should have just went shopping, tanning and got my nails done with the money like many other army wives. That way I would still have my own house when he came home. Instead we bought and paid this house off. I used to comment the truth on face book to my "friends" about how my day was going. You know the ups and downs of marriage deployment and raising  all these kids but no one could handle the truth. I got comments about how I should not  say things like that on line for all to see. In ways I thought maybe they are right . Maybe I should not tell the truth about reality. Maybe I should sugar coat Life with its ups and downs and make it a dream world.. NAH this is reality here. Reintegration.... and  just plain integrating to begin with is hard. The honeymoon was over before it began  (due to Deployment) and were always curious if would make it to the next anniversary. And at the same time we Know we and stubbornness are keeping it going. It takes work to make a marriage work. It takes dedication and selfishness is NEVER  an option.


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