Saturday, October 29, 2011

Military Terms a long blog...

P-38 military issued can opener
  I have always been accustomed to hearing military phrases as I am from a family of Veterans. For instance do you know what a p-38 is?  My dad has carried one of these on his key chain for my whole life. 
Sit straight, don't slouch, no elbows on the table" were some things I have heard. "YES SIR!"  There is also the dreadful morning wake up on a Saturday with my dad saying
"Get up if your going with me I'm leaving in 5 minutes!" "Where we going dad?" I'd ask. "Don't worry about it get up." We were always expected to do as he said and don't question anything. That was the way it was. It was for "me to know and you to find out only if I want you to". Dad would also always say "hurry up and wait"! Maybe that is why I am so impatient.
So in spite of that, some new words and terms have still  became part of my vocabulary in the past 5 years. Reintegration seems to be the biggest one of those in our life, aside from the  fact that being hurt is now called injured.What a strange word to have come to know. What does one mean by that?  As far as I can see, it is getting used to someone that you love living with you again. It is trying to figure out how to do that with all the changes that have occurred in the time frame that you have been apart.  While Jim was gone I was the Sargent in command of this house and the kids. I would ask his opinion however ultimately it was all my rules on the home front.
Have you seen the commercial for the long distance relationship online from Charter Communications? This was just like Jim and I when he was overseas and in Washington medical Hold. Our whole marriage was online. When Jim came home sometimes I missed talking online to him. I know that is strange as we were both right here together. It is just that with him being there we were more able to talk. He had a lot of free time in the WTB  (the Army medical unit he was stationed in upon being sent back from Iraq) When he was home we had no idea what was expected of us from the other. I noticed him frequently taking over  my "job". It was what I was accustomed to doing and not willing to hand it over to him immediately as much as I wanted to. Our routine was totally off which really puts this mom in a mess. I wanted him to be the head of the household but I did not think he was doing it right. Other times I would feel like he wanted me to be the head of the house and like he was always asking me for direction. He said that was the military in him too. Add all the normal parts of reintegration into all the failures he felt he had becoming injured and It has made our journey a little more interesting.

There are many other guys that are amputees and have injuries that are visible. Jim has invisible wounds that no one can see but he and I to go with his back injuries. One thing I noticed about men and women who are injured is they tend to feel like failures because of the injury. It almost seems like he would have felt better if he had a bigger more noticeable injury. The ones that do have the bigger more noticeable injury feel like they should have died instead of another person. . That willingness and duty to die for or kill for your country if need be is something that civilians will never understand. I  honestly could not understand why Jim would feel that fighting for his country and dying would be something good for our family. We need him here.

We had been trying everything to get our life back to what we feel Will work for us.   We did not live near an army base and had no access to the classes that most military families have so we are winging it. I recently found this article on reintegration.    I have a very large collection of books which I have read. When it comes to a marriage book it does no good to read if you do not put it to practice. I often would tell Jim about ideas I found in books.  Jim had brought it to my attention that  books are really just someones opinion so having him read a book was feeling like a useless idea. He does not like to read anyways.
We watched a movie called Fireproof where we seen the movie trailer for Courageous. He Is listening to the book on mp3 for The Resolution For Men and I am listening to and Reading The Resolution For Women.
I asked him the other day how he liked the book. "Do you think you agree with the authors opinion?"  I asked. He said "If i didn't like it I would not be listening to it"! I am farther in my book than you are in yours".  These books are a lot about the place of a man and a woman. It is the place I feel we should be but were temporarily put into the wrong place while he was deployed. I am a strong willed independent woman to an extent but I do believe in the right place of a man and woman in the house as long as the man rules his house with love and not dictatorship. 


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