Sunday, January 29, 2012

Whose in charge around here anyways???? God Should be...but is he?

In my opinion...

Raise your sons so that their wives won't have to. That was the twitter status on the page of  http://www.raisinggreatmen.com I asked  her if she had a blog post on the subject. She said she had not as of then but when I checked back she did. I Love that topic as I am sure a lot of women do. As a mom who used to be single and has dealt with immature men in a dating scene, I ask myself how I can raise my son so that his wife won't have to.  How do I raise a son of positive character who can responsibly   lead his family when the time comes? At the same time I need to raise my Daughters so that they can accept her husband’s role in the home. (Not as a dictator but a leader. More on that subject later.)


If it is up to a mother than let god lead the mother, and if there is a father in the home than the father needs to be lead by god. A mother and a father, both being lead by god is even better. 

What is the saying about the blind leading the blind? If you do not have god in your life and you are raising a child I believe you are just that. (The blind leading the blind
)What about the song that says "I once was blind but now I see" To me that means that when you let god lead you, you are able to see and now you will no longer be the blind leading the blind. 


This morning while my husband was getting ready to go to his Courageous Men’s meeting I thought. "A House can only be as good as its leader".  To me this says that a man who is lead by god will be as good as he can be though he is not perfect.  Sometimes I find it is hard to get into letting god have his way in my home. While Jim was gone overseas I was in the position of the leader.  When he came back he wanted his right back as the leader.  Well honestly things are all messed up when it comes to who is in charge around here. He had his set of rules in his head and the kids were already aware of mine although they did not always follow them. I thought he was too harsh and he thought I was too harsh concerning different subjects.  Other things we thought each other to be too lenient. The one thing that children need is stability. They need a consistent set of rules that both parents agree on. If you don't have this it leaves them confused and it leaves a door wide open for them to "play" you.  Children are watching you and learn from you and they then model you as adults. We must all know this by now. Look at so many of my pictures with the kids manor-isms they are modeling Jim's naturally. Even children who are not biologically Jim's will pick up parts of his behavior as well.

Something that Jim and I need to work on is having the same rules and supporting each other when we do not agree. We need to get back into our roles that god intended us to have.  I want to teach my boys to love god, rule their family with respect toward its members, have compassion for human beings, stand by their wives, protect them at all costs, and that hard work pays off. Those are just to name a few. What’s the point in all this? I do not believe you can teach them all that without putting god first. If God is the motor that drives you then you will go good places. I guess I don't have to tell you about what happens if the devil is your motor... I have ignored god trying to drive me at times and let the devil drive me and it is not good. Luckily we learn from our mistakes ask forgives and try again.

I believe that I made a mistake when I was younger and  (after my divorce) . Thank god I have grown. I got a message from Joyce At Hodge Podge  just now that said ”Glad you found your way in life and am happy we are not defined by who we are at 18. Good luck with the house!"    I loved that she sent that to me at perfect timing... I am very proud of how I have grown... okay not my rump...  ha ha..  Spiritually and as a mother I have grown. I also have things that could use work.  There is no one that is perfect but god. 

If I could go back I would not. I have learned from my mistakes and grown as a human being because of it. I am fully able to admit to my children that I may have done things in life that I regret and that not all things I have done are right. There are things that I have done in life that I am ashamed of. I feel that admitting to your children that things you have done are not right is essential because they are bound to see things we do wrong and model them but I think that admitting we were wrong makes a big impact on them and lessens the chances that they would model our negative behaviors when they see that we change our ways. That is not to say that you can do something over and over and say do as I say not as I do and expect them to listen. They will model us and most likely learn from what they see the most not from us telling them one thing and doing another.  If I would put god in charge around here I would know that Jim is  in charge and not question him. 
I would allow him to make mistakes and still stand by him. That is hard to do sometimes but it really is I feel the way it is supposed to be. He would in turn lead with a love for his family that is close to the same love that god has for Jim. That is just my opinion.... So do you think I am on the right track? 





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