Saturday, July 21, 2012

Preparing for your parents death

Before Jim left for Iraq  there was a ton of paperwork to do. Power of attorney papers were signed, life Insurance was taken care of and anything  else that you can think of. It was the military and they it is such high risk they make sure the family will be taken care of in case something happens. Since Jim was discharged we lost that coverage. It was no big deal until recently when his father passed. It has me thinking about my own father. What will we do when the time comes? I am starting to see its part of life that everyone eventually goes through. I really need to make sure that my children are taken care of  just in case also.

The death of our parents is such an emotional time that the more we can have prepared in advance the better. It would have been just awful to see my husband mourning his fathers loss and not having money to provide him with a proper burial that he deserved.

Some of the things I have thought about that would be nice to know and prepare in advanced are.
Where does your parent live? If they live in a rental how long will you have to take care of their belongings and get there place cleaned up? Do you have someone that could help you with donating all the unwanted items. Would you have money for a dumpster if the need be? Now I realize there are those that are worried about splitting up assets and fighting over who gets what. I am not that family. There are items that my father made that he needs to tell me who they belong to when he passes so I know in advance. He made a Coke clock for each of the Grand kids and kids.

Is your parent a Veteran? If so and their membership is kept up at the VFW there are things that they can help with. Will you have a luncheon? Do they want to be buried and where? If cremated where would they like their ashes spread? Do you have the money to pay for a funeral with showing planned ahead of time. It is very sad to me that my foster grandmother was cremated due to her family not having the money to do it any other way.

 Dad said one time "if we lived in New York where the big bad wolf lives you could just throw me off the bridge." I said "he deserves a better funeral than that when the time comes." He also says were gonna have a fun time cleaning out his house. I may just call American Pickers in. You have to understand his joking personality to get that part i guess. Anyways, another thing that took us days when Jim's dad passed was making a music CD and finding pictures. It sure would be nice to have those items prepared in advance as well. Moms seem to take care of these things in advance for their funerals as I know my mom said she had hers prepared. Yes  most funeral homes will have a Dvd playing with pictures to remember them by and some music that you choose.  In a later post I will add a list of music for funerals that I picked out.  I am sure I have missed a ton of things in here but just imagine how many details there are to a funeral when you are under so much stress  and filled with such sadness. The more you can prepare the better.

Another thing... Don't fight over material possessions.  I am sure that has to be one of the biggest sins there is. I know personally as a human being some of my deepest disrespect for human beings came from them fighting over  a deceased persons stuff and the trouble that they put my Grandma through doing so. I can think of more situations of greedy people fighting over a parents belongings just to sell it. Greed is not a good thing. Look it up in the bible I am sure you will find the story about it.


Pynk said...

I was afraid of that day before I read your article. Taking care of their things was the least of my worries. Thank you for sharing

Mm said...

Mine too and my dad trys to be a jokster about it but I know there is a serious side to it. He knows ill be in no shape t deal with his stuff but it will have to be dealt withand he has A LOT of stuff he's collected. And it will have to be removed from his house. Iguess that was my point to make arrangments for things you know need done while you have a clear head..

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